Well i've been doing REALLY good with my eating disorder. No skipping meals, no laxatives, and not even THiNKiNG about it. Most importantly, i've been feeling good about myself. i still had some issues with the way i looked, but i felt good about how i was drawing MUCH closer to God and way further away from Ana. But last night i realized that Ana has just one thing to her advantage-memories. Last night she brought back the memories of who i was when i let her be a part of me... I was miserable.... but i was much thinner back then. The thing is, i've gained over 10 pounds since the summer. This comes as a big shock to me. See, Ana wants me to be back to the way i was when i was Ana.... But God wants me to be back to the way i was BEFORE i even met her.
This week is eating disorders awareness week, and i want to show a video to my school to spread awareness for eating disorders. But i understand that in order to join the fight against Ana, i can't do things that would please her or bring me back to her.
Which is exactly why i want to go aaaalllll the way back. Back to when i never even knew Ana. When i was happy with the way i looked. If i could do that.... i know i could make a difference in a lot of girls' lives.
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