shining his light!!!

One of these days i knew that God would shine his light on my dark path. It's really starting to happen!!! I haven't thought about Ana in days, i've laughed and smiled more than i thought possible!!!!! I have no idea what brought this on... but i suddenly feel like i can be happy again!! At the same time, i know i'm walking on thin ice here... Ana is sure to try and pry her way back into my life time and time again. I know i'm going to struggle with her daily... this isn't the end! But i'm finally starting to feel comfortable with myself... and that is a big upper for me!!! I'm fighting harder than i realized i could. I thank God for giving me the strength to get through this... and i also thank him for standing by and letting me go through with my eating disorder. This might seem crazy, but i'm actually very glad that God didn't come to my rescue right away!!!! He knows the PERFECT timing. My eating disorder has taught me SO MUCH about life and it has truly made me a stronger person. Don't get me wrong, i'm still VERY weak and vulnerable... and yes, i still go through it every day. But when all is said and done i know that i now have a new perspective on self respect, and even on life. It's amazing how the things that hurt you the most can also help you the most. And how God can shine a light on absolutely any dark situation. Even mine....

I am trying to open my eyes to God. So far... so good. But i'm being extra careful not to slip up. There are so many people i don't want to let down, including myself!!!!